Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Crikey!!!



Well...duh.

What the fuck do you expect? Was anyone out there truly surprised? Personally I haven't been this shocked since that tiger had the nerve to attack whats-his-face. No, the other one.

I am not a religious man, but if there is a God then I would think that partaking in certain activities is equivalent to looking him (or her) in the eye and saying, "Fuck you. I am here to stay." And in true holier than thou fashion he (or she) looks back at you and says, "Um...no. You're not."

- If you jump out of a perfectly good airplane...
- If you bungee jump off of a perfectly good bridge...
- If you wear a KKK hood on the A train...
- if you tell your wife, "Yes, you DO look fat in those jeans..."

You deserve to fucking die. You have looked into the abyss and said, "One please."

There are so many ways to buy it on a daily basis why tempt fate? And epspecially after you have kids. "Gee, Jimmy - why did you grow up fatherless and turn to a life of crime and/or latent homosexuality? What? Your dad bought a motorcycle at age 52 and tried to jump Snake River Canyon? Bummer."

Believe it or not you do have a responsibility to stay alive. You have a family to provide for. You have kids that love you and will be crushed if you leave this earth that soon and that stupid. If I go - who will program the TiVo?

So you know what I do to preserve my family? You know what I do when I am not working or playing (safely) with my kids? I do what any responsible, sane adult should do...

I sit motionless in a comfortable chair at least 3 yards away from any electrical current, open window, running water or heavy object. I make sure the room tempurature is exactly 72 degrees, that I have had all of my vacinations and that I have not accidentally ingested any deadly toxins like pop rocks and cocoa cola. I sit motionless and I wait until I am called upon to do something else.

THATS living. I am going to be here for a long time and enjoy every minute of it.



On a serious note (oh no!) I did have the chance to work with Steve Irwin on two occasions and I have to say - what you see is what you get. He was not playing a character. He was an over the top, gregarious, larger than life guy and I can think of about 1,700 other people I have encountered in this business who this should have happened to...but I am sure none of them go swimming with stingrays. Bummer.

9 comments:

Aunt Elise said...

OK Adam .... here's your aunt again with another one of her comments. the chances of steve irwin (or anyone) being killed by a stingray is remote. stingrays only attack when feeling threatened and by steve being on one side of the stingray and the cameraman on the other -- well, maybe steve should have known better! however, i would have expected steve irwin to die from a crocodile that he couldn't control and not filming a documentary at the great barrier reef in cairns! I wasn't a fan of his and I HATE CROCODILES - but hearing of his death and the way he died -- yes, that truly was a surprise (to me and others) and a feeling of incredible sadness. and speaking of Steves .... when you wrote: "I sit motionless in a comfortable chair at least 3 yards away from any electrical current, open window, running water or heavy object" .... i thought for sure your father wrote that! LOL Love, Aunt Elise

Marian said...

I think perhaps you meant to come off funny and edgy, and instead come off like a complete asshole.

Might want to pull a Scott Adams here, bub.

WalkingUpstream said...

Uhh...I believe his family will be well provided for for at least a couple generations. As far as having a father for his children, I don't think it's like his wife will be an estranged individual wih no contact with other people; I think his kids will have plenty of active, supportive people in their lives. As far as Steve himself, he did what he loved and made millions and millions happy while he did it. He was a great man. You're just being a jerk.

Jeff's Page said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
the asshole said...

Hey Adam, Couldn't agree more. You hit the nail on the head. I loved Steve, but was not at all surprised... and as a father he did have a responsibility to his kids. I suppose the adults who loved him most understood his passion and accepted the risks. His kids didn't have a choice. It is sad and there is no right answer. He died doing what he loved and left people he loved without him in their lives. It is sad any way you slice it.

I have a similiar sense of humor. Check out my site peopleareassholes.com

McSqueeky said...

I think the fact that you speak this way of Steve is very inconsiderate considering he is deceased.

Yes, he died in a way that some may think is oh so obvious, but he died doing what he loved.

Also, to those who say he had a responsibility to his children to be alive...get real. Every person has a responsibility to their children, things happen. There are fathers out there that don't even so much as KNOW their children and could care less about them and live their lives without any responsibility to them what-so-ever, so why is it such a big deal that this man whom loved and provided for his children is getting harped on AFTER his death about his responsibility to be ALIVE for his kids???

Yes, what he did for a living was a risky thing, but so is being in the army, a pilot, a roofer/construction,a news anchor, etc., all sorts of proffessions.
They don't stop doing what they do for fear of death while being a parent, they do it because they love what they do and it benefits the children that they also love.

Not only did he leave his children enough money to live very comfortable lives, he left them a legendary father whom loved them despite his other love.

He didn't choose to leave them anymore than the victims of 9/11 chose to leave theirs. Death happens at any time, it isn't prejudice.

Risky business or not, he was awesome!

~Sabrina Lily~

Pamela said...

How is being a news anchor dangerous, Sabrina Lily?

Adam Freeman said...

You absolutely right Lily. There is no difference between a roofer, a construction worker...and a man who wrestles aligators. These are all professions vital to our society.

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