Tuesday, September 05, 2006
What the fuck do you expect? Was anyone out there truly surprised? Personally I haven't been this shocked since that tiger had the nerve to attack whats-his-face. No, the other one.
I am not a religious man, but if there is a God then I would think that partaking in certain activities is equivalent to looking him (or her) in the eye and saying, "Fuck you. I am here to stay." And in true holier than thou fashion he (or she) looks back at you and says, "Um...no. You're not."
- If you jump out of a perfectly good airplane...
- If you bungee jump off of a perfectly good bridge...
- If you wear a KKK hood on the A train...
- if you tell your wife, "Yes, you DO look fat in those jeans..."
You deserve to fucking die. You have looked into the abyss and said, "One please."
There are so many ways to buy it on a daily basis why tempt fate? And epspecially after you have kids. "Gee, Jimmy - why did you grow up fatherless and turn to a life of crime and/or latent homosexuality? What? Your dad bought a motorcycle at age 52 and tried to jump Snake River Canyon? Bummer."
Believe it or not you do have a responsibility to stay alive. You have a family to provide for. You have kids that love you and will be crushed if you leave this earth that soon and that stupid. If I go - who will program the TiVo?
So you know what I do to preserve my family? You know what I do when I am not working or playing (safely) with my kids? I do what any responsible, sane adult should do...
I sit motionless in a comfortable chair at least 3 yards away from any electrical current, open window, running water or heavy object. I make sure the room tempurature is exactly 72 degrees, that I have had all of my vacinations and that I have not accidentally ingested any deadly toxins like pop rocks and cocoa cola. I sit motionless and I wait until I am called upon to do something else.
THATS living. I am going to be here for a long time and enjoy every minute of it.
On a serious note (oh no!) I did have the chance to work with Steve Irwin on two occasions and I have to say - what you see is what you get. He was not playing a character. He was an over the top, gregarious, larger than life guy and I can think of about 1,700 other people I have encountered in this business who this should have happened to...but I am sure none of them go swimming with stingrays. Bummer.
at 8:20 PM