Tuesday, September 13, 2005

My Wife the Racist


How's that for a headline?

Most of the people visiting this site know my wife, Krissy. For those that don't let me fill you in...

She is the polar opposite of me in everyway. In other words - the perfect person. How this kind, caring, thoughtful, selfless, romantic person fell for a bitter, thoughtless, selfish bastard like myself baffles everyone including me. I am clearly making out better in this deal so I'll just keep coming down for breakfast until she catches on.

- Krissy is the person that doesn't forget your name...
- The person who sends a card for every occasion...
- Knows the name of every child and every parent in my daughter's class before the first day of school is over. No joke, half of the parents think she is a teacher she is so welcoming...
- That starts knitting baby blankets a year in advance because she knows her friend is planning on being pregnant this time next year...
- Spends the month of December making homemade X-Mas cookies as personal gifts...
- Will always put someone else's happiness before her own...
- Let's me have the last piece of pizza.

Simply put, if they gave out an award for "Best Human" (and they should) she would win hands down. Maybe Oprah could give her a run, but Krissy would still take it in the end.

If you don't agree with the above - fuck off. If you know her, or the above description sounds like someone you would like to know, keep reading.

My Wife Is A Racist...

Or at least, as of today, half of the San Fernando Valley thinks so.

A "Moms Group" is made up of stay at home moms who get together regularly for play groups, ladies night out and do charitible things to help the community. Very Nice. Very noble. And more political than the White House and Wysteria Lane put together.

Most are smart, quick, and once successful professional women who have chosen to stay home to raise their children. They now crave adult interaction so much that who brought "just a salad" to the pot luck dinner becomes as big as the Iran-Contra Scandal.

Needless to say my wife attended one meeting and was made publicity chairperson.

In between meetings and playdates, the group communicates through a huge online network. Plans are made, info distributed. If someone finds a good pediatrician they pass them along etc. Fine.

They also send out a lot of spam. Not solicitations, more like, "You know you're a mom if..." and "Top 10 Reasons Husbands Suck" etc. My wife is as guilty of this as anyone.

Well today Krissy got an e-mail from a friend outside of the group and in a flurry of mom-multi-tasking, forwarded it to her Mom's Group Network without really reading it. After all, there's a 90% chance it has do with "Make One Person Smile Today" or some similar Hallmark sentiment.

Not today.

Today it was a tirade against a propsed US Stamp Celebrating the Muslim religion. This chain letter was being circulated to "remind us" of every violent act a Muslim has ever committed against the USA. It encouraged you to write your congressman to express outrage etc.

Krissy didn't realize this. With in a nanosecond of hitting "send" she was bombarded by angry stay at home moms "replying all" acusing her of being prejudice, anti-Muslim, completely inappropriate, out of line etc.

I don't know why, but I find this hilarious. Not the subject matter, but the fact that my sweet wife who tries to "bring a smile to someone everyday" is being outed as a Right Wing-Conservative-Racist. This is a woman who bought my daughter dolls in different races so she would learn tolerance!

If any of them know Krissy do they really think this is her style? Do they think she is running a Klu Klux Klan sleeper cell out of our gated Calabasas Home? We can't even sneak someone into the pool without getting busted, let alone plan world domination. And if you think she'd let anyone cut holes in her sheets fuggetaboutit,,,

These women really have to get another hobby. And while they are "replying all" and spreading their own brand of propaganda - can they guess which of them secretly e-mailed Krissy personally to say "I totally agree with you." Classic.

P.S. - Paul - your response about Krissy being able to "express her feelings as a constitutional right" was really sweet and well intended but made her look like she endorses Al Queda. Thanks though...

1 comment:

PETE said...

all extremists should be taken out and shot !-steve allen