My Own Personal Thrill

My parents have given me a lot of great things:

- A happy childhood
- Good memories
- A good education

But for however much I love them, with all due respect, they didn't exactly fill the gene pool all the way to the top. I am bald, need glasses, short, and have a genetic predisposition to being "stocky." Don't get me wrong, I would rather have these shortcomings than grow up in a house of divorce, poverty or abuse but that isn't always the first thing that goes through my (bald) head when I look in the mirror each morning.

So with that said, I take great comfort in the shortcomings of others. Namely celebs. Nothing gives me a bigger thrill than seeing a celeb in person and learning they are shorter than me. Score one for the underdog.

I measure in at a solid 5'7 1/2". Women always say men add 1" to their height when asked. Not me, that is an accurate measurement.

I am proud to present a list of celebrities I have personally met and can therefor verify that they are the same height or shorter than me:

- Arnold Schwartzeneggar. I saw him in Malibu this weekend. We stood 1 foot from each other. Same height even though every stat on the internet says he is 6'1". Nope. Maybe 5'8" tops.

- Sylvester Stallone. Same height. Maybe a 1/2" shorter.

- Tom Cruise. Shorter! 5'6" maybe?

- Bono. Shorter! 5'6".

- Dakota Fanning. 4'10". I could totally kick her ass.

- William Shatner. Same height.

- Flava Flav. Boyee!

- Mel Gibson. Same height. Suck it Mad Max.

- Matt Damon. Maybe an inch taller.

- Brad Pitt. Same. Maybe an inch taller.


I realize the above exercise is completely pointless, but if you can knock others down to build you up, what fun is it?