Thursday, August 28, 2008

Better Than A Free Cup of Coffee

Escalating gas prices have been the topic of conversation for close to a year now. Here in LA gas approached almost $5.00 a gallon.

To entice people back to the pump some stations have been offering little perks: a free cup of coffee or maybe a free car wash.

Yesterday I was offered a blow job.

I was filling up my tank in Beverly Hills at a very surprising $3.67 a gallon when a car pulled up to the adjacent pump. It was a filthy one year old BMW convertible that has obviously not been kept in good shape. Behind the wheel was an attractive girl/woman. I am going to guess she was 25-28 years old. Think Latina accent. This was the conversation:

HER: "Hello? Do you live around here?"
ME: "No. Sorry. Are you lost?"
HER: "Well, where do live? How far?"
ME: "I live in the valley. Why?"
HER: "Well, I need a huge favor."
ME: "You do?"
HER: "Yeah, I need gas."
ME: "Sorry, I can't help you."
HER: "Are you sure?"

Here is where I noticed her staring at my crotch and licking her lips. She then smiled at me.

HER: "I really need a favor. I need gas. I can give you a favor..."
ME: "Ummm...."
HER: (laughs) "I really, really need some gas. Please?"

She then licked her lips again and smiled, attempting to be seductive.

HER: "Are you sure you don't live close by?"
ME: (sound of my car driving off)

I should have noticed her little meth twitch and teeth grinding from all the episodes of "Intervention" I have TiVoed.

So that was my day. You?

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