Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Anything Goes

Last night I watched the premieres of "Wipeout" and "I Was Kidnapped By A Japanese Game Show."

I was just discussing them with some friends and we came to the realization that when it comes to reality TV, you can now pretty much do ANYTHING to ANYBODY.

During the infancy of the Reality/Competition genre there were many ethical questions posed, "Can you put people on an island with only rice to eat?" "Can you really get a man to meet, propose and marry someone on TV?"

In truth, these weren't just ethical questions - they were casting concerns. In the late 90's/early '00s I did a series of MTV Spring Break shows with Jerry Springer. I remember being in a writer's meeting brainstorming the stunts we would have these college kids do - the human burrito, peanut butter bikinis, picking up stuff with their butt cheeks etc.

My naivete showed when I expressed real concern that we would not be able to find kids to do this stuff. Flash forward to me sitting behind a card table on a beach in Cancun, clip board in hand, asking a long line of kids to show me any hidden talents they had. The first girl I asked dropped to her knees and began to blow the guy behind her in line.

"Ah," I thought, "her parents must be so proud..."

So, in this new age of competition/reality shows I want to throw my latest idea into the ring. I call it...

"Shoot You In The Face."

Tell me you would not tune in to a show called "Shoot You In The Face." The show would be exactly that. Contestants step and get shot in the face. Survivors move to the next round and closer to a million dollar prize. From a budget standpoint it is perfect because you most probably will not have to give away the million. And if you do, man do they fucking deserve it.

A co-worker suggested, "R U The Next Messiah?" This is not only a great game show but a legitimate search for the next savior. Can our contestants walk on water? Part a sea? Turn water into wine? If not they are eliminated. If they succeed it is a pretty good bet they are someone we should be paying attention to.

Don't steal these ideas cause I'm gonna sell these suckers.

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