Mr. Mom

My wife broke her ankle last week. She fractured a bone and severly sprained the ligaments on both sides. She is in a hard boot, cannot put any pressure on it for weeks and is in tremendous pain.

But enough about her...

Her injury is really inconveniencing me. See, while she is laid up, unable to walk, all of the mommy stuff has fallen on me. And I suck at it.

- Going to work and making money is my job
- Staying home and running our household is her job.

There is nothing sexist about that. It is a choice we made as team. A joint decision I was informed of when she told me, "You better make more money because I am not working anymore." Go team!

I do not suck at housework because I am a man, or because I think it is beneath me. I suck at for the same reason I suck at spot welding. I never do it.

That is not to say I do not contribute, but it is a simple matter of time: I spend 80% of my time at work, she spends 80% of her time at work. I don't know where the salad spinner is the same way she doesn't know where my office keeps the copy paper.

For a week I have been hearing, "How do you live here and not know where that goes?", "Those glasses don't go on that shelf," "Dirty diapers go in THIS garbage can, not THAT one..."

Well EXCUUUUUUUUSSSSE me.

There is a reason I go to work and she stays home. Because if she worked and I stayed home we would all die.

She says I now have a newfound respect for how hard she works. False. I never underestimated how hard she works. The difference is all those years she told me I "just sit on my ass and do nothing" were an exaggeration but now she literally is under doctor's orders to "sit on her ass and do nothing."

So, according to my logic, I have it much tougher.