After careful thought and consideration I have decided to make the following statement public record:
I am not the father of Anna Nicole's baby.
I am not a religious man but the more I look around me the more I am realizing the apocalypse is almost upon us. The middle east, the sad state of affairs our country is in, Anna Nicole's baby, Britney's lesbian affairs - its all building towards something.
On top of that Howard Stern (the original) announced he is getting remarried. It definitely is the end of the world.