It's a Long Road to the Middle

I had another interesting experience last night. I know for a fact it happens every day in Hollywood but I never experienced it personally before.

I am a very small fish in a very, very large pond. Hollywood. I am on my way up.

I never thought of all the people I would pass as they were on their way down.

My company is in the beginning stages of partnering with a comedy club to do a t.v. show. Last night the owner called David and me and said, "I also represent "Comic X." He is coming into the club tonight, we should sit and talk." I won't say who Comic X is, but you all know him. He was never Eddie Murphy or Sam Kinison, but he was very well known - Johnny Carson, Jay, Letterman, several movies that run on a loop on TBS. I have always been a fan. We took the meeting.

The minute we sat down Comic X went into his pitch - an idea for a show he had and wanted us to produce. He pitched his heart out, like his life depended on it, like his kids would be taken from him if he didn't sell this show. In short, he pitched like David and I do.

Why? This guy was a star. He did movies, HBO specials - why does he need US so bad.

We are on our way up the ladder and passing him on his way down. He is not going to get a meeting with Speilberg or David E. Kelly. He's had a bad run. Who in their right mind would take his call? You're lookin' at 'em.

Now, that wasn't really the part that freaked me out because to be honest, it fed our ego. All of us would like to think we are bigger than we are so we all sat around pretty impressed with ourselves.

But as the conversation went on Comic X's tone changed. He went from being "on," to being self-depricating, self-depricating turned to bitterness, which turned to sadness, which turned to jealousy and desperation.

"_______ has a show. Even ______ has their own show - I discovered both of them. _______ is a good comedian, I respect him, but he knows I would blow him off the stage...it's just not right that I don't have my own show. All I need is a shot, one shot. If you guys will do this with me, I promise I will work hard, I will make myself available 24/7..."

My mind wandered. Yesterday it was almost getting killed with T.V.'s Robin the Boy Wonder, today it is a guy I grew up watching begging ME to take a chance on him.

Somewhere out there is a fetus. And that fetus will grow up to be successful. On that road to success he will meet a man - a once successful man who has fallen on hard times and just needs one more chance to get back in the game.

I hope to fucking Christ I am not that man.