Big Brother Is Upon Us

I have seen the face of Orwell's "Big Brother"...and its name is Google.

I was screwing around in Google Maps and typed my parent's address. What came up? Directions?


No, a fully 3D environment with a 360 degree view of the address. I could pan around, click on the arrows and move down the street - where ever I wanted to go.

Very handy. Very dangerous.

Try it. Any street on their map outlined in blue has been scanned into their database.

Grover Got The Shaft.

A funny article I found. Click to enlarge or go to the original post here.

I Can Sleep Anywhere. And Often Do.

Better Than A Free Cup of Coffee

Escalating gas prices have been the topic of conversation for close to a year now. Here in LA gas approached almost $5.00 a gallon.

To entice people back to the pump some stations have been offering little perks: a free cup of coffee or maybe a free car wash.

Yesterday I was offered a blow job.

I was filling up my tank in Beverly Hills at a very surprising $3.67 a gallon when a car pulled up to the adjacent pump. It was a filthy one year old BMW convertible that has obviously not been kept in good shape. Behind the wheel was an attractive girl/woman. I am going to guess she was 25-28 years old. Think Latina accent. This was the conversation:

HER: "Hello? Do you live around here?"
ME: "No. Sorry. Are you lost?"
HER: "Well, where do live? How far?"
ME: "I live in the valley. Why?"
HER: "Well, I need a huge favor."
ME: "You do?"
HER: "Yeah, I need gas."
ME: "Sorry, I can't help you."
HER: "Are you sure?"

Here is where I noticed her staring at my crotch and licking her lips. She then smiled at me.

HER: "I really need a favor. I need gas. I can give you a favor..."
ME: "Ummm...."
HER: (laughs) "I really, really need some gas. Please?"

She then licked her lips again and smiled, attempting to be seductive.

HER: "Are you sure you don't live close by?"
ME: (sound of my car driving off)

I should have noticed her little meth twitch and teeth grinding from all the episodes of "Intervention" I have TiVoed.

So that was my day. You?

Don't Say I Never Gave You Nothin'

For a limited time you can read all of "Genius" online for free @ newsarama.com.

Check it out... HERE.

Genius Voting

I want to thank everyone who I have besieged with e-mails and alerts pleading you to vote for me and Marc's new comic book "Genius," which is competing in Top Cow's Pilot Season.

For those of you who have voted, thank you. And for those who have been asking, "How's it doing?" My answer is this:

"Not good enough. And better than I thought."

???

Let me explain.

Marc and I knew from the moment we thought of the concept that "Genius" would be a tough pill to swallow. Tough for publishers to get behind; tough for readers to grasp. The very first image is a horrible one - a police officer being shot.

And that's OK. Some projects you do for yourself. Some would say that Marc and I are too early into our comic careers to be so self indulgent so soon but the truth of the matter is - we are because we can.

We both have day jobs. Good day jobs. We are not doing comics for the money, although that would be nice. Because we are not fighting to feed our families and living off Ramen noodles we have the luxury to say, "no" to crap projects and be patient enough to find homes for ones we are passionate about.

I love my wife. I love my kids. As the executive producer of a TV show my time is valuable. If I am going to take on another career it better well be something I have a fucking blast doing. And it is. As long as Marc and I can continue to do stuff that we like - like "Genius" - we've won.

If you don't like "Genius" for the writing or the art that is your prerogative. But if you mistakenly think it is glorifying "cop killing" you are mistaken. Regardless of whether you think the lead character, Destiny, is evil or in the right, from a purely creative stand point her story has a right to be told.

For a much more eloquent explanation, check out Marc's blog entry here

Push #1

As I mentioned in the update below, Marc and I are writing a 6 issue "prequel" series to the upcoming film, "Push" starring Dakota Fanning, Chris Evans and Djimon Hounsou.

We continue our run of being paired with pretty incredible artists. Here is the cover wunderkind Jock has done for the 1st issue. Very cool stuff to come.

I am most probably about to go MIA for a while with way too many projects all kicking in at once. For those who care, here is an update:

COMIC BOOKS
- Genius is currently #3 on the Pilot Season voting polls. Please go to www.topcow.com everyday (and from multiple locations!) and vote so you can see this very original book become a monthly series.
- Just finished the script to Push #2 - a licensed book Marc and I are writing for DC/WildStorm based on the upcoming movie starring Dakota Fanning, Djimon Hounsou and Chris Evans. Four more scripts to go...
- We have two as of yet unannounced books with Top Cow in production. More on that when we are given the go ahead to spill the beans.
- We just saw the pencils for our reincarnation of the classic pulp character, "The Sphinx." Very cool. We'll let you know when that hits stands.

MOVIES:
- As reported, "Monster Attack Network" is in development at Disney with Kickstart Entertainment. I believe they are looking for an A-List director or screenwriter to get it going.
- "The Highwaymen" is is development at Warner Bros. with Depth of Field producing. They think they have a first rate screenwriter on board to begin the first draft.

REPRESENTATION:
- Although I will remain to be repped by Hayden Meyer at APA for my unscripted TV work, Marc and I have signed with Eric Reid at ICM for all of our scripted stuff.

GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS:
- We have just started shooting Season 4 (heavy sigh). The family is in rare form and I think this might be our best season yet.

KISS:
- I have produced and directed a tour documentary for KISS entitled, "KISSTERIA" that is in post production. More info on when and where you can see when I am given the go ahead.

MISC. TV:
- My partners of GSFJ, Leslie Greif and Adam Reed and I have sold a one hour special to MTV that is currently in pre-production. More on that soon but I can tell you it's full of car wrecks and explosions.
- Also with Leslie and Adam, we have lots of pilots in development or ready to be pitched.

On the personal front, Ella is currently playing soccer and cheerleading (not at the same time). She and Sadie just finished summer camp and are getting ready to start school next week. Ella will be in first grade and Sadie will start pre-school. My beautiful wife Krissy has suddenly become inundated with job offers. While she hasn't taken anything full time she has done some freelance days working with Pete Weintz on FNMTV, the cast of The Hills on their recent premiere special and she has just been confirmed to work on this year's MTV Video Music Awards. As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

So please, if I don't call or write that often over the next few months do not take it personally. I am just trying to keep my head above water.

Later!

Fake Presidents

Ya know when you are watching a movie in which a fictitious President is a character? "Armageddon," "Wag the Dog," "24" etc. You know how they don't always seem quite right? I think it is because, while you can believe other actors as the fictitious characters you have never met, you try to image electing that actor as your President and you just can't picture him/her in the role.

I feel the same way about John McCaine. To me, he feels like an actor playing the President in some 80's movie starring either Matthew Broderick or Marc Singer.









Can you tell the difference?

Odd Thing To Do With Your Time...but still cool.

Its Days Like This I Feel Like The Greatest Parent In The World

(click to enlarge this idiot)

You Think You Know Pain? THIS Guy Knows Pain...

Do you know what I find equally interesting? Notice how, the minute he hurts himself, a well rehearsed army of Chinese come out with barricades to block everyone's view. There was more man power spent on hiding the injury than helping the injury.

Olympic Censorship

What twisted fuck invented the uneven parallel bars?

Lighten Up People

I have written before about Hollywood caving to special interest groups . Well, I am glad to finally report of a case where they didn't.

Ben Stiller's new movie, "Tropic Thunder" opens this weekend. I highly recommend it. It was very funny in both a base and high brow kind of way. Do you know why I feel comfortable recommending it? Because I SAW IT. I wonder if any of the groups complaining can say the same.

Quick synopsis: A bunch of actors filming a Veit Nam war epic accidentally stumble into a real war, but think they are still filming the movie.

That description doesn't really do it justice. I wouldn't necessarily see the film based on that logline. Luckily the film is much more.

There is a potential controversial element to the film. Robert Downey Jr., playing seven time academy award winner "Kirk Lazarus" undergoes a skin darkening procedure to portray a black man in the "film" within the film. Yes. A white man in black face.


And you know what? No one has complained. Not yet, fingers crossed. "Kirk Lazarus" is an amazing parody of the current generation of actors that think they are all "method" and recreating Robert DeNiro's weight gain in "Raging Bull" by completely immersing themselves in a role. How ridiculous is it that Lazarus actually BECOMES BLACK to play a black man? Does anyone else see how insane and genius that piece of satire is? I hope so. Downey's role is also perfectly complimented by Brandon T. Jackson's character "Alpa Chino" (another great satire of both rappers turned actors and rappers' obsession with anything Scar Face related) who is constantly offended by "Lazarus" and calls him on all his misguided, racist bullshit.

Ironically, the NAACP is not the group complaining. It is the Special Olympics, the National Down Syndrome Congress, the American Association of People with Disabilities and about 18 more. Why? Simple Jack of course.


Ben Stiller plays "Tug Speedman," an over the top action hero not known for his acting skills ala Van Damme, Segal, Ahnold etc. In another brilliant piece of industry satire, Stiller's biggest flop was his attempt at a "serious" film, playing the lead character in the story of a retarded man, "Simple Jack."

Again, genius. There is a great line in "Bowfinger" when Eddie Murphy's movie star character says, "Don't you know they only give Oscars to people who play retards or slaves? Someone find me the role of a retarded slave!" Stiller's character thinks he can get acting cred by playing a mentally challenged man, badly.

There is an amazing exchange between Stiller's character, Speedman, and Downey's "credible actor" Lazarus. I am paraphrasing but you will get the jist...

Stiller: There were times when I was doing Jack when I actually felt retarded. Like really retarded.

Downey: Oh yeah. Damn.

Stiller: In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid or dumb.

Downey: To be a moron.

Stiller: Yeah.

Downey: To be moronical.

Stiller: Exactly.

Downey: An imbecile.

Stiller: Yeah. When I was playing a character.

Downey: When you was a character.

Stiller: Yeah, I mean, as Jack. Definitely.

Downey: It’s like working with mercury. It’s how science makes art form.

Stiller: Yeah.

Downey: You an artist.

Stiller: It’s what we do, right?

Downey: Everybody knows you never do a full retard.

Stiller: What do you mean?

Downey: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, Rainman, look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic. Sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump. Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and he won a ping-pong competition? That ain’t retarded. Sean Penn in that "I Am Sam?" No Oscar. He went full retard. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.

I am sorry, but that's fucking funny.

Yes, "Script Girl" is hot. And hearing her say my name I believe she just got hotter.

The Geek High Priestess Likes It...

All The Cool Kids Are Doing It

I ask very little of you, oh faithful blog reader.

Over 20,000 hits so I assume someone out there gets a kick out of this thing.

Well, now I need you to give back. No, I am not trying to sell you Amway. I am not trying you to transfer $10,000 to the personal account of some Zimbabwe King on behalf of his widow.

I need you to vote for me. And it couldn't be simpler.

Go to: topcow.com and you see a box that looks like this...



Click on "Genius." That's it.

Your vote will hopefully help me and Marc's latest comic book become Top Cow's newest ongoing monthly series.

Please vote once a day for the entire month of August. I really appreciate it.

Thank you!

All Over the Press

The little press you have seen on "Monster Attack Network" was purely based on me and Marc saying something at Comic-Con.

Apparently the "House of Mouse" has decided to announce it.

Solo Dad - Update

Diary entry: day three.

Wife still gone. Darkness surrounds me. How do you combat an enemy you don't understand? An enemy so relentless, so tireless.

The true test of man is one who can beat the fear. Own the fear. Time will tell if I am that man.

I fear this may be my last entry.